Day One and I have exactly zero words written. I suspect this is due in large part to lack of any kind of preparedness. Don’t get me wrong, I have a plot. Or more specifically I have the skeleton of a plot. The bones are there. That is all they are: bones.
I was about to start this sentence with the words “Working against me …” and then explain all the reasons I haven’t got a solid story idea down so I could jump right in and write. Truth is, the only thing working against me is me. I haven’t written anything in almost two years. I haven’t bothered to keep up with the craft, to make it a habit, a priority. The problem is me. Did I have my reasons? Yes. Were they good reasons? Is anything good if it keeps you from doing what you want to be doing?
The single biggest reason was self doubt. Sometime nearly two years ago I managed to convince myself I was a terrible writer and should stop wasting time thinking I could tell a decent, coherent story from start to finish when the evidence was clear I could not(I am a serial starter who has only ever finished a few things). Soon, I was chronically tired and the most creative thing I did was decide what to make for dinner. I assure you, they were not very creative dinners — thought I did come up with a super delicious pasta dish featuring capers and feta cheese and I created a Parsley and Lemon Pesto that is amazing no matter what I seem to put it on. Crackers? Yes! With and Without accompaniments. Salad? Like It was created for just that purpose! (It wasn’t) Pork chops? Absolutely! Spread thinly on toast? You will start to crave exactly that. As a substitute for actually sitting down and writing words in a creative manner? Not even the amazing pesto could make up for the simple truth; I missed writing.
Now here I am once again staring down November, woefully unprepared and yet determined to do it anyway.
As of 3am this morning my hold-up was that I didn’t even have a name for the main character whom I was fairly certain (there was doubt thought! So much doubt.) was female. I was reasonably confident that she would go into a store and be gifted an amulet and … that was all I had. I had options to fill in the details — of a sort. Lists of things organized in a kind of “Choose Your Own Adventure” of plot outlining. Yet even there, I didn’t have much laid out to choose from beyond what I have already listed. I decided to sleep on it. As much sleep as I needed. Being tired all the time can’t possibly be helping. So I ignored my alarm (I didn’t have any commitments today) and slept.
I feel so much better!
Plus, I think I have enough detail to get stared now. My main character’s name is Azlyn. She is an Atheist who follows her best friend (a pagan curious) into an occult shop where she happens upon an amulet. Unbeknownst to Azlyn, the amulet contains a daemon, trapped centuries ago by a God for (plot reasons!). Azlyn, poor soul, believes she is loosing her mind when upon taking it home and wearing it she begins to hear a voice in her head. And then Shenanigans with freed daemons, angry Gods and an Atheist who might just have to start believing.
Things are good. I have a plot. Let my 2019 NaNoWriMo begin!